Everyday the certainty of taking this trip grows. Not only is the number of reasons to do the adventure increasing, but the frequency of doubts and concerns rearing their heads is shrinking along with my perceived magnitude of them. This means that I'm shifting, as the reasons have always been there along with the doubts and concerns; I'm just not viewing them from the same place anymore.
I'm 40, have a super career trajectory, hold a fantastic job that easily allows me to support my family, enjoy amazing friends and family here in Atlanta, and yet I know my path in life lies elsewhere. No matter how great the current current, something just isn't right. Where ever I look, I see signs that point towards getting on the boat. The mind always sees what it is looking for.
One of the violent internal dialogs that I am no longer battered by relates to the finality of this trip. Early on in thinking through the adventure, it seemed like this was some sort of final decision. That is, I step aboard the boat and I'm forever leaving everything behind: family, friends, being an IT Executive, owning a house, and so on. Then it hit me- this isn't any more final than my current career. In 1 day, if I don't like the new lifestyle, I can change. In 100 days, I could change. In 1000 days, I could change. I could change back into being an IT Executive, or I could buy a house, or I could move back to Atlanta. I could simply change to whatever I want, just as I'm electing to change to live aboard a boat. There is nothing final about anything.
I am seething with desire to start this next phase of my life. I want to have each day with my family, I want each day to think my thoughts, I want to have each day to read my books, I want to have each day to write my words, I want to have each day to stay put, I want to have each day to move on, I want to have each day to be with the ocean, I want to have each day to maintain my place, I want to have each day to be the full me.